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Did I do the right thing?
The death of my father came as a surprise to me. He was a World War II veteran who smoked and had problems over the years with his lungs. He always managed to get well despite how sick he would get. This time he caught the flu and within a week he was dead. “How could he have survived so much and then die from the flu?” I thought. I was quickly faced with many decisions.
I got the call at 10:00PM on a Thursday evening. The hospital informed me that my father died and wanted to know what funeral home to take him to. I was in shock. My mind went blank. I couldn’t even remember what funeral home we used for my mother who died when I was 14 years old. They gave me his belongings in a trash bag and let me know that I needed to have him removed from the hospital within 24 hours. Everything happened so quickly. I made funeral arrangements, called what little family we had and began the journey toward settling his estate.
I never felt comfortable talking to my father about his death and finances. I felt like this was intruding in some way. After experiencing the nightmare after his death, I wish I would have asked him some questions. He had a hand written will that basically said “I leave all of my stuff to my kid. If she dies before me it all goes to the Humane Society”. I was the only child, so I’m sure he thought that the process would be easy. It wasn’t. It took two years to settle his estate. I lost 10 lbs in a week. My health and business were severely compromised for many years after his death.
What my father didn't realize is that my life would be permanently altered as a result of being unprepared for that day. I wished that I could have just one more conversation with him to ask about some of his experiences and feelings about the Army, growing up, and being married to my mother.
Estate++ can help reduce some of the feelings associated with an unplanned death such as worry, grief, fear and uncertainty about last wishes. Estate++ is more than just an estate inventory. It records heart felt memories of those we love and provides direction when we need it most – at the time of loss.
Trudy Reilly
Co-founder of Estate++